Child Psychology Works on Everyone

interwar:

do you ever just look at children of couples in films or television shows and go

no

you are genetically impossible

that is not a dominant allele

Hilarious

(via glowstick-ofdestiny)

nycgov:

Mayor Bloomberg and Kermit the Frog enjoying the Yankees’ first home game of the season.

I love New York

(via npr)

So true!

(Source: justsmilebeautifully, via glowstick-ofdestiny)

modmad:

Only now I keep forgetting where I put them

and I keep running into him all over the joint

and it’s like

Clooney

Clooney pls

Clooney wat r u doin

Clooney why

Clooney pls!

(via glowstick-ofdestiny)

So true!

(Source: epic4chan, via stotheb)

theclearlydope:

Bout to watch some birds and shit.

Today I was listening to Led Zeppelin’s “Dazed and Confused” and it gave me the idea to ask around for songs written by men about triflin’ hoes that gave them the Wah Wah Wah’s. Askmen.com already has a top ten break-up songs list but it includes some sappy “I want you back” songs, which is not what I’m looking for.  There are several stages of grief (pulled from Wikipedia):

1. Denial 
2. Anger
3. Bargaining 
4. Depression
5. Acceptance 

However, today I will focus on my favorite, which is ANGER. Anger is when a girl spreads a rumor that her ex-boyfriend has a small penis or a recently dumped guy publicly accuses his ex of having the herp-derp in the poon. This also goes for same-sex couples, who are not exempt from the Vicious Break-up Social Club (dues are paid in tears and vodka).

Below you will find some choice songs by men hatin’ on bitches that broke their hearts in one way or another.

“Dirty Diana” -Michael Jackson- This song is apparently about a groupie named Diana who gets around (she durrty). I call this the Power of the Poon because groupie vajays have inspired so much great music but also somehow keep Bret Michaels thinking his bald ass is sexy. With great power comes great responsibility and these tour bus hoes need to get their priorities straight.

“Same Girl” -Usher and R. Kelly- This song teaches you not to trust any hoe with an ankle tattoo and a license plate that spells actual words (ANGEL? stfu).

“Yous a Hoe” -Ludacris- “Hey ho, how you doin’, how you been? Pro’lly doin’ Hoe stuff cuz there you Hoe again.”  Ludacris demonstrates an in-depth understanding of Hoe activities. He has expertly moved past the Anger, Bargaining and Depression stages of grief and settled into Acceptance. Now he’s sharing his experience with the world (why isn’t this the theme song to Keeping up with the Kardashians?).

“Roses”  and “We Luv Deez Hoes” -Outkast- Roses is #1 on Askmen.com’s list, it’s a great song about a stanky hoe. The second, We luv Deez Hoes is similar to Ludacris’s “Yous a hoe” in that it also offers an in-depth analysis of hoe tendencies, behavior, and even appearances (fake eyes). This Outkast song is very angry at said hoes and this contempt is expressed in descriptions of how they use hoes for their hoe behavior but know well enough when to stop the grubby hoe hands from their gold digger  behavior. 

“Fuck You” -Cee-Lo- This catchy song is like the anthem for every broke-to-middle class guy that feels inadequate and has bad habits and is trying to blame a girl for upgrading. In any case, this song gives a voice to a lot of disgruntled guys that take the bus and to you I say that not every girl is like that (one of my fave songs here). However, there are girls like this and Kanye has also assisted in warning other men about them. 

“Cry me a River” and “What Goes Around…Comes Around“-Justin Timberlake- The only thing I have to say about this is WHY ISN’T JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE MAKING MUSIC ANYMORE?!! He is a CRAP actor and Jessica Biel is doing the world a disservice by being a selfish bitch and not telling his ass that his acting is like watching Blake Lively at a Spelling Bee. I know she’s afraid that groupie zombies will tackle his tour bus and run away with his peen, but it’s a risk she should take for the sake of music and the future of Karaoke.

Now I know that this isn’t nearly an exhaustive list of songs, so feel free to comment or tweet me and suggest more. To wrap this up I thought I’d include some “honorable mentions” which are badass bitches who have also been inspired by triflin’ hoes:

“Stupid Hoe” -Nicki Minaj- Now, I love Nicki but anyone that has heard her speak in public can agree that in the Hoe universe, Hoes don’t like competition. This song should really be called “From one Stupid Hoe to Another.” Nicki wants triflin’ hoes to know that there is one main bitch and that her big head is the only one able to support that crown. You go girl! Nicki, you won me over with your botched nose job (corrected by contouring make-up), veneers and fat redistribution surgery. You have surpassed all my Lil’ Kim dreams (for the “me” that was 12 years old, living in the Bronx and listening to Hot 97 when my mom was out of the house). 

“You Ain’t Woman Enough to Take my Man” -Loretta Lynn- This song sounds cheery, but the lyrics are vicious. This housewife owns a shotgun.

“I’ll Kill her” -Soko- This is kind of my favorite, an adorable sounding French brunette hating on the blonde bitch that stole her man. Except that if you make it to the end of the song you realize that this is one crazy delusional psycho stalker bitch. Oh well. 

stotheb:

My life philosophy.

I feel you

(Source: nickthejam)

surisburnbook:

The President pardoned two turkeys this morning, but the real winner was Sasha Obama. Not only is her blazer fun and bold for fall, but that side-eye she’s shooting her father is downright epic.

She knows, as do I, that this whole turkey-pardoning bit is stale, and also that, President or not, her dad is embarrassing. Join the club, Sasha. Join the club.

Yesterday I came home and my roommate was watching The Onion News Network show on comedy central. It is a fake news network that parodies many things that happen in real life and highlight their ridiculousness. My favorite clip from yesterday (aside from a company’s refusal to recall dangerous hot plates because of the low value of the lives being lost…) was this one. It is Michael Falk, The Onion’s Autistic reporter.

Now, this is a growing trend in television that I have noticed: hiring actors with disabilities and/or creating roles for actors to play people with “disabilities.” I think this is great and I will tell you why. First of all, I work in Mental Health and it is no secret that mental illness is stigmatized all over the world. There have been movies, TV shows and characters created to make mental illness more familiar to the public and, perhaps, less shameful and misunderstood. Additionally, celebrities have come forward and revealed that they have or are currently suffering from mental illness. This is a good thing because if someone had anxiety, depression, or bipolar disorder when I was growing up, adults used to say “he/she is crazy” or they have “lost it.”  Now, people still say this about more complicated disorders but now someone who is depressed or anxious isn’t really “crazy” anymore (sometimes annoying, maybe, but not crazy).

I remember going to church when I was little and there was this kid with Down’s syndrome in the congregation. I didn’t learn the word for Down’s Syndrome until I was in high school studying genetics in biology class. Everyone just called him a “mongoloid” and stayed away.

Nowadays, however, I have noticed that people that society would consider “disabled” are becoming more present on screen as real characters. Don’t believe me? Let me name a few:

Ryan Cartwright from the SyFy series “Alphas” plays an autistic man who can control radio waves: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1183865/. I love how frank he is and when he repeats things he probably saw on TV (“I am a federal agent. I ask the questions). He is a loveable character and watching his challenges throughout the season can enlighten people to what someone with Autism experiences on a daily basis.

Jamie Brewer plays Adelaide in FX’s “American Horror Story.” She has Down’s Syndrome and plays the daughter of a snooty, homocidal, and incredibly vain neighbor of the main characters. Adelaide has a sweet and playful personality on the show, despite her mother’s emotional abuse.

There is also Lauren Potter who plays Becky Jackson on Fox’s “Glee.” She plays Sue Sylvestor’s head minion on the Cheerios. This list can go on with Marlee Matlin and others.

I mean, think about it, at some point you started seeing gay characters in television. Obviously, I don’t think that homosexuality is a disability, but it certainly carried a stigma (and in many places still does). There have always been gay people in Hollywood but now TV and movies are acknowledging that they do, in fact, exist and that they are awesome and funny.

Bringing more awareness of people who are (or were) in the margins of society to the general public is a step in the right direction. So don’t be mad at me if I laugh at the Autistic reporter. Comedy is becoming more equal opportunity every day.

I just want to end with this little video that I’m sure many have seen but to me it tells the rest of the world that just because a person has a disability doesn’t mean that they are willing to be dismissed as unimportant (or that they don’t want to get laid).